Do you know how many things we absorb as children that we take with us into adulthood that do not serve us emotionally and mentally? Lessons we take from our families or messages we learn from society at large that are simply not true or helpful for our happiness.
I discovered that if we want to grow and evolve as individuals we need to look at some of those lessons and messages and realize that they are actually false.
Not only that, they may even be stopping us from being truly happy.
No matter how much you meditate and how much you write and repeat positive affirmations, you will find it challenging to vibrate at a high level to bring about what you dream of while holding on to some of these messages and so called life lessons that do not serve you.
One of the biggest secrets to manifesting success is to genuinely feel positive, and one of the best ways to feel generally positive most of the time is to accept that much of what you have picked up along your life’s journey is not true . You have much more power than you realize to be able to live the life you dream of.
Here are some of the life lessons and messages that I believe many of us have picked up during our travels. Take a look and see if you relate to them. I believe we all need to remove these things to create from purpose and positivity.
1. What others think of me is important.
Well, no, it’s not actually and the sooner you realize that the better. There is such a freedom that comes when you realize that other people’s behavior towards you is much more revealing about themselves than it is about you. Let the fear of judgments and comparisons go. Believe in yourself and stop worrying about what others think of you.
2. I need someone to fill me up so I can be whole.
Wrong. We are already alone. As long as you think you need someone else to complete you, you will remain unsatisfied and unhappy. No one else can fix you or permanently make you feel better. You have to do the work yourself to feel whole, then when you’ve done that, hooking up with another whole person is the only real recipe for a happy love life
3. The only way to success and money is to work hard.
Or in other words, suffering is necessary in order to get anywhere in life. While hard work is not a bad thing, it is if you are not enjoying what you do. There is a saying, do what you love and you will never work a day in your life. I love this, I believe you are more likely to get where you want to be when you enjoy the journey and the flow. Work smarter, not harder!
4. Self-love is selfish.
Wrong. Arrogance and selfish behavior is selfish. Loving yourself is natural and necessary. Self love isn’t just about having a bubble bath and getting a massage. It’s about core acceptance and respect for who you are as a person. Loving yourself means treating yourself as a beautiful and spiritual being. Being your own best friend means knowing what you deserve on a soul level and not settling for anything less.
5. I am the way I am because of my past and I cannot change it.
We all have emotional baggage. Some of us have had very traumatic pasts. While we are influenced by our experiences, we do not have to be driven by them. There comes a point when we can take responsibility for who we are and how we live. We can change the way we live by creating a new reality.
6. We should not feel negative emotions.
I know I talk a lot about positivity, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for your negative feelings and emotions. Often as children we are taught not to cry, to put a brave face on things or to get rid of our ‘bad’ feelings. But our bad feelings are just as valid and need to be felt in order to get past us. The next time you experience a negative emotion, try to see it as temporary, allow yourself to feel it and let it go. I guarantee you will get through it much easier and feel better.
7. We should always be happy.
After the point above, the idea that we must always be positive and smile is not realistic. Life is about balance, ying and yang, day and night. We need the rain and the sun. it is important to keep a positive outlook but more than that is the importance of feeling love for yourself. When you love yourself you activate your intuition, and that is your best guide in life.
8. If only – – – were different, I would be happy (fill in the blank)
Constant comparison with others is toxic, particularly today with so much social media and people revealing only part of the truth through carefully filtered images. If you think your life would be better if you were thinner, beautiful, rich, lived somewhere else etc, you are really your own worst enemy.
Start feeling grateful for the things you have and watch your life change radically. You don’t want to wait until you’re too old to realize that your life was actually pretty great!
9. I can’t be what I want to be.
This is a great one guys! The fear that we are not smart enough, good enough, don’t live in the right city or know the right people. It’s all self limiting and just plain wrong. This type of belief only encourages a defeatist attitude. The truth is that we can all be whatever we want to be, there is room for each of us to light up the world in our own unique ways.
10. Loving someone means being there 24/7
I do not believe this is true. When you love someone you want to offer them the best of you. This means that sometimes you need to be alone, take time for yourself and put your needs first where necessary. Ideally you have a relationship that is balanced, and this is natural. Loving someone doesn’t mean denying yourself what you need in the moment, especially when you feel drained. Loving someone also means knowing when you have boundaries.