I remember with great clarity the day I realized the negative impact of fear on my life.
It was a beautiful and sunny Saturday morning, and I went out for some errands before meeting friends later for lunch. I had a great weekend planned that I had been looking forward to for a while.
The blossom was out on the Magnolia tree, the air smelled fresh and full of sunlight, and everything had to be perfect.
There was only one problem. My mind was full of scary thoughts swirling around me, reminding me that I was worried about my finances.
At that time, I had many projects in the development stages, and I was uncertain about their success. My income was far from stable, and I couldn’t relax, knowing I couldn’t take care of the next month’s bills.
Also, I was determined to buy myself my first property within the next year, and that dream seemed off target.
Even before I got to the store, my body was completely tense in a state of anxiety, panic, and fear.
One thought led to another, and within minutes, I had allowed my mind and body to be taken over by the closed energy of fear.
Instead of happily starting my big, sunny weekend, I felt paralyzed and depressed.
I felt disconnected from my ability to create and worried that I didn’t have what it takes.
In just a few seconds, the scary thoughts I was having about money completely changed my mood.
I was doubting my gifts and talents and felt completely powerless.
Fear had me in its grip.
At the time, I did not fully understand that it was within me to stop entertaining those fear-based thoughts.
Our brains are such peculiar and incredible organs.
My habit of worrying about money meant that my mind wanted me to entertain those terrifying and debilitating thoughts. Because that’s what he was used to doing.
And as you probably know by now, energy flows where attention goes. My repeated focus on those worries made them bigger and brighter until they were all I could see.
Things changed for me after that weekend. I realized that my thoughts had such a big and powerful impact on the way I was feeling, emotionally, physically and mentally.
That’s when I chose to it redefines my relationship with fear.
I realized that fear is strengthened when we lose trust in our connection with ourselves. When we pay attention to the stories within, this may or may not be true.
Most of us let fear have a driving seat.
Most of us let fear control and dictate too much of our lives.
The fear is not going away. We need fear as part of our emotional range and as a healthy response to certain situations as we navigate our lives.
What we don’t need is fear running the show every day.
And most of us are letting fear have too much power. Giving your power over fear will tire you and stop you from following your dreams.
It stops you from taking action, makes you feel that things are impossible or that you are incapable of getting where you want to go in life.
It stops you from feeling supported by the Universe and clouds your judgment.
Forget about the powerful creator that you really are.
Forget that you have responsibility for your own life.
So how can you begin to recognize and release your fear?
Here are three ways I’ve learned to change my relationship with fear.
I hope these tips can help you too.
1. Drop into the Present Moment
Bring your awareness into the present moment. Do this by taking some deep breaths, in and out.
Breathe in through your nose, and breathe out through your vocal mouth. Do this several times and take your time to do it.
What this does is it takes your focus off the fear and puts it on your breath. You give a break from all that worrying.
As you release the air through your exhalations, think of yourself as releasing anxiety and troubling thoughts with your breath.
Imagine your fear leaving your body as you breathe in and come into the present.
2. Give an Interview to your Fear
This is a technique I created to help me reprogram my thoughts to be more positive. Instead of hiding from my fear and pushing her away, I ask her questions.
This may sound counterintuitive, but when you face what is at the root of your fear, you can heal it faster.
I have also found that doing this lightly actually reduces my fear and pulls me into a more positive and confident frame of mind.
For example, you can stop and ask your fear why there? Your fear can answer in your mind –
“Well, I’m afraid I’m not good enough, and I don’t know how to make more money doing what I’m doing.”
And you can say,
“Oh well, I understand that. But you’ll figure it out. You have the tools to improve, and you have already achieved many great things. You’re getting better all the time.”
When you recognize and reprogram your fearful thoughts, you strengthen your connection to your heart and your higher self. Your fear is heard, seen and understood.
Instead of expanding your fear with more fear, diffuse it with love and compassion.
3. Check with your intuition
Fear is one of the lowest vibrations there is. It can obscure what we instinctively know to be true.
Get out of your way by checking with your gut instinct.
Try to tune in to the truth of every thought you have and every action you take, so you know you are never acting out of fear.
Push away your mind’s chatter and the stories it invents, and feel in your body if every thought, idea, belief, and action actually feels like truth inside you physically.
This is a challenge, but it is the only way to truly unlock your true power and live in alignment with your best life.
The more you learn to trust your instinct by checking how it feels, the easier you will find it to do over time.
We have great wisdom and the ability to recognize the truth that lies within us, and if we only learn to trust our hearts and act accordingly, we can create wonderful things in our lives.
One final thing – Gratitude is an excellent fear release.
When all else fails, be grateful for the wonderful things you have and make a quick list of everything you are grateful for.
It can work to shift you out of fear and into an open and eager appreciation for life.